The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me! Hope you can find your laugh!

It’s Called Life People – But Who the Hell am I Any Way?

I’ve been thinking about writing a blog for quite some time now, but I thought (like many people I’m sure), Why would anyone want to read what I have to say or think? And I’ve finally come up with the answer to this life altering question……No One is Going to WANT to Read This!  At least I’ve decided to keep my expectations very low so if anyone besides my Mom reads this I would consider myself a successful blogger, and I’m good with that! (Just in case I forget – Thanks Mom).

Listen, I’m no different from any other 40 (Ehem) something, Mom, Wife, Employee, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, Friend (which FYI – I’m either Great at or Terrible at – don’t worry, my Real Friends are totally aware of this). But, in considering what I would like to base a blog on I thought of lots of different ideas (By the way – I’m totally an idea person with zero implementation skills I’m pretty sure – AND I will frequently have these side bubble thoughts randomly put in the middle of my sentences – because that’s just how my brain works). I had the classic ideas like –

Parenting (I have a teenage son and a preteen daughter), Organizing (which I love yet – let’s be realistic People – I have a teenage son and a preteen daughter), Fashion (I totally love trendy clothes – but remember – I have a teenage son and a preteen daughter – that would bring on even more eye rolling and “Mom…..Seriously???” moments), Decorating (this is where my husband comes into play – Let’s just say……. Ok he’s a total tight Ass). Working Out (I like working out – I just don’t like talking about it), and the ever classic Food blog (this was NOT really considered because I’m a terrible cook and I get totally stressed when more than 1 pot is on the stove at a time –  I even burned my kids Costco pizza tonight – Now would be a great time for Costco to contact and pay me for setting up a link to their site for membership – my Mom would appreciate that – Plus who Runs the World – Amazon, Costco and/or Beyoncé? I imagine all three), but I do know what I am good at – I can make people laugh, I can make fun of pretty much any situation (Disclaimer – if you are sensitive to certain words, or are a person who doesn’t get my Dry, Sarcastic sense of humor – THIS BLOG IS NOT FOR YOU!).  I don’t want to take life too seriously even though I TOTALLY can at times (So this can be another way of reminding me that It’s Just Life).

As I narrowed down what contribution I could make in the blogging world – I thought of an amazing friend of mine that was recently diagnosed with a form of Head and Neck Cancer. My “role” with her prior to her major surgery was to make her laugh but had strict instructions to NOT make her laugh immediately after her surgery. This was A LOT of pressure for me. Being told to not make someone laugh was difficult and FYI made me an Incredibly Boring Person. I was thinking about this as I drove to see her in the hospital the day after her surgery. How do I not make her laugh? Then I thought – Do people usually ask themselves how to not make someone laugh? Then I thought – why am I over thinking not making a person laugh? (Oh yeah- I over think) And finally I thought – This is a very strange conversation I’m having with myself. So, the idea was born……We all have things in common and navigating LIFE is a connection we all have, but maybe we don’t have to ALWAYS take it so Seriously. Special Thanks to KSB – I’m pretty sure this is your 69 millionth inspiring contribution to the world – I get something for that right? 😉

I often feel like – as I’m sure many people do – My life could totally be a Sit-Com. As of right now, I am currently ranked 3rd funniest in my house. My husband and daughter are tied for first, I’m partially considered next (unless one of our 2 dogs do something funny – which totally changes my ranking), then it’s a mix between my dogs Keyser and Piper (or me), then my poor son a very distant Last Place (he’s working on it). So, let’s be honest, I really just need documentation to up my ranking.

I’ve had lots of ups and downs – just like every other person on the face of this Earth. I’ve had fertility issues, I’ve been through a difficult divorce, I’ve had major financial problems (According to my husband – all roads lead back to “How much is that?” and “You don’t need that!”  – “But Babe, it’s toothpaste.”) I’ve juggled raising two small kids when I was single while working an hour away and getting my Master’s at night (at least that’s what I’ve been told – don’t really remember doing all that at once.) I’ve gotten remarried (which I cannot go into how Amazing and Wonderful he is because all that does is give him the ammunition to say “But you said I was Amazing and Wonderful!!” when he’s annoying or gross, which is an everyday occurrence, and believe me, he will print out the documentation to show me that I said it). I’ve had All Kinds of Kid Ups and Downs (My motto by the way? When in doubt Parent in Fear – I mean Total Scare the Shit out of Them Fear). I have a child that has been diagnosed with 2 different chronic illnesses that may never go away. I’ve had (have) weight issues (let’s just say right now at least my face is pretty – but I’m trying to work on that – Side Note – What the Hell happens at 40 (Ehem) something that all of a sudden Big Macs, Large Fries and a Large Fountain Coke doesn’t just melt away when I actually Love Working Out???- which is why my husband has banned me from the grocery store, allegedly when I go to the grocery store I spend $200 and we still don’t have anything to eat except junk food……..Well, I guess this road did lead back to “You don’t need that!”). I’m a terrible School Mom (Yes, I was the one who forgot syrup on pancake day when my son was in 2nd grade).

I’m sure I can go into lots of other specific ups and downs, but I think you get it………I’m just like you! All our stories are very much the same yet very much different. Some days we feel incredibly happy and grateful and other days we feel like we could live on an island all by ourselves (ok maybe with someone like Channing Tatum who still has those V Muscles in his pelvic region who doesn’t expect the same from me in return).  I’m completely aware that I have lots of flaws. Yet lots to offer – Just Like You! I just want to make people laugh at their situations OR my situations (I am SO the person who trips, falls in the ugliest way and WANT people around to see it and laugh with me). I know that I can Totally be an Asshole (I describe myself as a Love Me or Hate Me personality) and I can absolutely bring out my Bitch Card, but only on Very Special occasions.

So, Buckle Up for the Ride People – because – IT’S CALLED LIFE!

Jessica B.